Bittersweet

I volunteered to be the VBS director at our church this year, mainly because I didn't want Matt to have to do it by his self. It was June 27-July 1, and let me tell you, it was a crazy week! Our theme this year was Hero Headquarters, talking about unamed children heros of the Bible. It was perfect. What kid doesn't want to be a superhero? It was also a lot of fun, and most definitely, a lot of work! We had over 280 kids register!

Anyways, my niece and nephew spent the first part of the week with us, and they are so fun and so cute. One night while I was feeding Cavin we began talking about their new baby brother or sister who would be joining us very soon, and how there would be three kids in their family now. My 5 year old niece then told me if I had two more babies then I would have three babies just like before (referring to the triplets).

My niece forgets NOTHING. Which can be quite annoying sometimes because even if you distract her away from an idea, she'll come back to it eventually. Its nuts. But I LOVE that she doesn't forget her cousins Eli, Isaac and Micah. I love how randomly throughout the past two years she brings them up in casual conversation. I love her perfect faith and acceptance of them being with Jesus. I love that they are still in her heart.

Throughout the next week I dreamt of my babies, of holding them and being with them. They were on my mind more than usual after talking with my niece about them, and with the two year anniversary of their death approaching.

Friday morning, July 9 we headed to Columbia to wait for a niece or nephew to be born. I cried most of the way there. We drove into the parking lot of the hospital where I walked out empty handed, and I fought for control. We went inside, took the elevator up to the floor where we were two years prior, a floor full of memories that made my heart ache. I held Cavin close and shifted my mind to the forthcoming arrival of a new baby into our family.

While we waited my doctor from the triplets walked by. He is easy to spot beings he looks like Santa Clause! I wasn't sure if he would remember us, but we walked out and asked at the nurse station to speak with him. I had wanted to show him our miracle, our happy ending. He was thrilled to meet Cavin and glad to know the outcome of the pregnancy I started with him.

We waited what felt like forever and then we finally got the news we had been waiting for all day, we had a new niece, Ruth Ann!! I will never forget my niece and nephew's reaction when they found out they had a baby sister, it was priceless. They were so excited!! She is a beautiful baby girl and I can't wait to spoil her rotten!

Now, a place I always thought of with sadness has become a place I can think of with joyfullness.