Moving Day...Kind of...

Since Matt starts work on Tuesday, we're "moving" from the room in my parents house to a room in my aunt and uncle's house in the St. Louis area. So we've spent the morning packing up what clothes we'll need for the next three weeks to take with us, and everything else in boxes to store. It is amazing how much stuff we have aquired over the past few months. We finally have everything packed up and ready to go, now we just have to fit it all in our little car!

Tomorrow, Sunday morning we are being introduced at the church, and so begins our new life. We are nervous, but very excited. Here are a few prayer requests for us...

1. For Matt as he begins his new job at the church, that God will guide and direct him in all things.
2. For me as I begin looking for a job. This is a really hard thing for me to do, as its a constant reminder of the job I am no longer able to do but wanted to do with all my heart.
3. That we can get our closing date moved up!! Right now its set for Sept. 19, but we're really hoping to get it moved up so we can move in sooner! We are really tired of packing and unpacking and living out of suitcases!
4. For both Matt and I and our families as we continue to miss our babies.

Retreat to Cancun

Matt and I spent the past Saturday through Wednesday in Cancun on our retreat. You may be thinking, well, it was just a vacation, but it was so much more for us. We purposely planned this trip to be the week before Matt started work at the church and almost a month after losing the babies.

Our few days in Cancun were the first and only days we have spent alone since we were in Vienna, the beginning of June. Unless you count the hospital stay where we spent the days with visitors and of course the docs and nurses, and the nights with regular two hour check ups with the nurses.

The time alone was HUGE for us. The first part of the trip, we naturally talked about the past, leaving Vienna, wondering at God's hand in that, and losing our precious Eli, Isaac and Micah. Matt and I are so very different, and likewise, we are grieving completely different as well, which makes it important for us to be able to talk to each other about it all. God really blessed us with our conversation in this area. We really feel like God has given us closure with this chapter of our lives, which we feel we needed before moving on.

Naturally after feeling closure on the past chapter of our lives, we began talking about our future. From everything such as how we want to paint and decorate our house, to getting to know people at the church and making new friends, to new jobs, to what we want to do for Thanksgiving! Lol.

Anyways, it was so good for us to spend time together, just the two of us. We spent most of our time at the pool or beach, which was so relaxing. The sun simply felt amazing. On Monday we took a day trip to Chichen Itza where we saw ancient Mayan ruins. It was really cool. Here are some pics from our trip...

Above: This is the face of one of their rain gods...can you see it?

Below Left and Right: The ball field...the goal was to put the ball through your ring (they were on the side walls, vertical)...without using your hands. It was a large field.

Below Middle: This is a picture of their observatory. It is amazing the knowledge they had to build this and be able to see the constellations and planets.

This is the sinkhole where they got all of their fresh water, and where we swam! The hole is about 50 feet below the ground, and the water itself is 150 feet deep. It was beautiful.

There's No Place Like Home!!

Yeseterday afternoon we found out we have a house! We sent in a contract on Tuesday afternoon, and weren't expecting to hear anything until Friday afternoon. The house is basically brand new, it was lived in for a short time, and we had asked for the company (who built it) to do some things before we moved in. We knew they'd agree to all but one thing, and that was our request for them to replace the black appliances with white appliances. I really don't like black appliances. But lo and behold, they agreed to everything we asked--even the appliances! God is so good! Right now our closing date is set for Sept. 19, but we're hoping to get it moved up! We'll keep you posted!

-Bittersweet-

After some looking, and realizing what we really wanted in a house, showing my parents and getting advice, we picked one. Today, we put a bid on it. We will know by the end of the day Friday (hopefully) if the house is ours or not. We are praying it is!

The whole buying a house thing has been really bittersweet for us. On one hand, it is very exciting to be purchasing our first home! But at the same time, its depressing and a reminder of all we've lost. As we looked at each house, and as we think about the house we're hoping to buy, we can't help but think of how empty it will be without Eli, Isaac and Micah. So although this process is very exciting for us, it also brings a completely different set of emotions along with it.

Please continue to pray for us as we take steps foward that are nothing like we had hoped and dreamed of.

Names

This is something we have been asked, but since its too hard for us to talk about my babies, I am going to write about it instead.

As we sat holding and admiring the miracles our three babies were, we realized the names we had picked didn't fit, they weren't special enough. As we spent time with our babies, we asked God to give us the perfect names, and He did. Here's why we chose the names we did.

Elisha James

We picked the name Elisha because one, his life as a prophet has always fascinated me. He is often overlooked as a prophet since he followed in the steps of Elijah, but his life is definitely not one to be overlooked. It is full of testimonies of faith and the power of God.

But the main reason we chose this name, is because of its meaning. Elisha is from the Old Testament, a Hebrew name which means "God is my Salvation." When my water broke on Elisha, the doctors were sure I would lose him that day. Yet my labor stopped and even though he had no fluid surrounding him, his heartbeat remained strong. He, like Elisha, was a testimony to faith, and the power of God. From the beginning to the end of Eli's short life, God was his salvation.

James. Not only a great book in the Bible, but the name of a dear friend, who was like a little brother to me. He also lived a short life, 16 years, before meeting his Savior.

Isaac Matthew

Isaac is also from the OT and a Hebrew name which means "He will Laugh." Isaac was the long awaited baby of Abraham and Sarah. Although we didn't have to wait quite as long as Abe and Sarah, Isaac was our long awaited baby. Our reaction when we found out we were finally pregnant was one of much joyful laughter.

Matthew means "Gift of God." Need we say more?

Micah Ray

Micah is also a Hebrew name which means, "Who is Like God." This name seemed very fitting for our pixie faced little girl. Micah is also another one of my favorite prophets, and my life verse, since high school, is Micah 6:8.

We chose "Ray" and spelled it the "boy" way because it was my Grandpa Tuley's middle name. My grandpa passed away while I was in high school, but the impact he made on my life is far from small, and will always be a part of who I am.

House Hunting

Thursday we spent the morning getting approved for a mortgage, and the afternoon meeting with a realtor and looking at houses online. Housing in the Wentzville area is quite expensive so finding something nice on our budget will be a miracle!

After living with family since the middle of June, as much as we love them and have enjoyed our time with them, we are ready to be in a place of our own. This makes looking for the perfect house with little patience, difficult to say the least.

Please pray for us as we finally conclude our move from Vienna to our new home. Pray we will have patience, and for God to show us the perfect house soon!!

Floating!

We left Conway on Tuesday afternoon, after DK assured us he would be okay without us. Imagine that! We drove up to the boothill of Missouri to my Gram's house for a short visit. My parents and sistes were already there. They were already planning on going floating Wednesday afternoon, so we decided to join them.

We did a little less than a two hour float, in canoes, down the Current River. It was a lot of fun, as my sisters had never been floating before, or had too much experience with rowing, creating some hilarious events. All in all, lots of fun in the sun.

At Last...A Job

Believe it or not, throughout the chaos of us returning to the States and loosing the babies, Matt did interview for three different jobs. Resume's were sent in before July 13 when I was admitted into the hospital. First interviews were done at the end of that week, while things were "calm."

Second interviews were offered on all three jobs, but Matt only took the second interview with one job. Brave...I know. The second interview was done the first weekend of August, a week after I had been released from the hospital. Then finally, Monday, August 11, around 9:30pm, Matt was offered the job, and he accepted.

Curious?

Matt will be the children's minister at Wentzville Christian Church, starting September 2. So we will be moving to Wentzville soon, which is in the northwest Saint Louis area.

You may be wondering about the switch of "occupations" from teaching to being a children's minister. Both Matt and I have a passion for children, and ministering to them. For the past 5 years that is exactly what we have done, through church and through teaching. We are honored to serve God by loving and teaching his children, no matter where and how it takes place. On a side note, Matt is very excited about working in the church and is ready to take on the challenge!

Really?

The other side of this sign said "This church is prayer conditioned." Love it.

This one is in honor of "Mustasche Week" at VCS and Householder.

Toad Suck--Arkansas

We travelled to Conway, Arkansas on Sunday to take DK to college at University of Central Arkansas. We expected to get DK settled in and everything set up for his apartment, but we didn't expect to have so much fun!

The previous weekend Matt's dad was telling us about some of the wierd places some of his coworkers were from. We laughed as he told us the names of these crazy towns, but didn't think much else about it.

UNTIL...Monday afternoon we were driving through Conway bored (DK was in meetings) heading to Sonic for happy hour (gotta love that!). On our way there I spotted a sign that said "Toad Suck" with an arrow pointing left. I screamed in excitement and told Matt to turn left! We weren't sure how far it'd be, but we thought we'd drive a ways and see.

That's when we came upon...

Legends of Toad Suck:

1. There was a big spring that kept water on the surrounding ground most of the time, attracting toads to set up camp around it. Then every now and then, the spring would suck in all the water, and the toads.

2. Long ago, steamboats traveled the Arkansas River when the water was at the right depth. When it wasn't, the captains and their crew tied up to wait where the Toad Suck Lock and Dam now spans the river. While they waited, they refreshed themselves at the local tavern there, to the dismay of the folks living nearby, who said: "They suck on the bottle 'til they swell up like toads." Hence, the name Toad Suck. The tavern is long gone, but the legend and fun live on at Toad Suck Daze.

Toad Suck is only a town of 230 people, so there's not much to see other than the pics above. However, the first weekend in May, every year, is when they host the "Laid Back Weekend." The weekend is full of hillbilly games, but the best of all, are the annual toad races. Due to flooding in Toad Suck a few years back, the weekend festivities are now held in Toad Suck Square in downtown Conway. For more information, you can check out their website at http://www.toadsuck.org/

Needless to say, what we thought would be a boring afternoon while DK was in meetings, turned out to be lots of fun!

Really? 5 Years?!?

Although it is hard for us to believe, Saturday was our five year anniversary. We spent a lot of time on Saturday talking about the past five years, and how they didn't in the least bit, match up to what we had imagined on August 9, 2003. Imagine that. It was fun to compare our dreams for life in 2003, to what really happened, to what our dreams are now in 2008.

As many of you know, Matt isn't the most romantic of guys, MOST of the time, but he can be romantic! He planned a whole evening, refusing to tell me anything except what I needed to wear. We ate dinner at a really nice Italian restaurant, which had yummy food! Then he surprised me with tickets to see Disney's musical, Beauty and the Beast, which is my favorite Disney movie! All in all, it was much better than McDonalds!! Lol.

Now we're hanging out in Conway, Arkansas getting DK settled into college here. As I am typing this blog the poor guy is getting immunizations! We have met the other three freshmen recruits for the golf team, (they are all international students as well--England-Chili-and Cananda) and they are really nice guys. So I won't have to worry as much about leaving DK here all alone! But it sure is completely different getting DK as an international student settled than it was for either of us. So much more paperwork, orientation, more to buy and more to do. Speaking of, we're going to go look for some tableware while DK gets his shots!

Funny how things happen...

A friend said the following passage out of 2 Corinthians helped them through some hard times, so we went over and looked it up. Ha! It was the paragraph right above the passage that we've been clinging to over the past few weeks. We had read it, but it hadn't reached out to us at that time. I love how God touches us with different passages of Scripture throughout the various seasons of life, or even different days of the week. God is good.

3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.

2 Corinthians 1:3-7

We are doing okay, and still taking life a day at a time. Our family and friends have been so good to us, we have been overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and we have felt covered in prayer. There are still a lot of tears, but God has been our strength and will continue to carry us through.

DK flew in this past Sunday and we've spent the week with him, which has been a tremendous blessing to us, and just what we needed. This weekend we will take him to college at the University of Central Arkansas where he received a golf scholarship.

Its looking like Matt has found a job, but its not official yet. He has went through all of the interviews and now we're just waiting to hear. We will find out for sure the beginning of next week, and then we'll post the details. Until then...

One more thing...

We realize you have also been grieving the loss of our babies with us, so we wanted to share a few verses that have been our lifeline over the past week.

"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. 9Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers."

2 Corinthians 1:8b-11a

Indeed, our hope is in God, for only He can deliver us.

Just an Update...

We have been overwhelmed (in a good way) with the love, encouragement and prayers we have received from so many. It is hard to believe that yesterday was one week. It feels like it has been a year, a year of riding what we like to call, the grieving rollercoaster. It is funny the times that we feel the loss in unbearable ways. Yesterday we went to see the latest Batman movie with our dear friend Becca, and at the end of the movie we were overcome with emotion, wondering how can life go on as normal when we are missing three very important parts of it?

Although we miss our babies sooo much, we know they are with Jesus, being loved in a way we never could have loved them. A friend sent us this poem, and we have read it many times, as its a good reminder of that perfect place, and the perfect, unconditional love our babies have.

Nestled in God's Arms

The Lord loves little ones

And keeps them safe and warm

In a special place in Heaven

Nestled in his arms.

The Lord placed the tiny babes

To grow in a mother's womb

And if he calls them home before their birth

He must have them a special room.

I have not yet seen Heaven

But I know our God above

Will take special care of the tiny ones

And surround them with his love.

So do not fret or mourn

For the tiny soul set free

But look forward to a reunion

That will last eternally.

-Thena Smith

Thanks again for all of your love and support, knowing we are loved by so many, and have the support of so many, helps us get through the hard days like yesterday.