New York City

We knew we would need a major distraction on the babies due date, so we're heading to the biggest city in the U.S. hoping it will be a big enough distraction. Obviously this will still be a very difficult week for us, but we're hoping the distraction will help some.

So the question is, where should we stay? Any recommendations?!?

Another new favorite song...

I have finally gotten around to adding music on our blog! I have wanted to do it for quite some time now, but never have had the time, well, taken the time to do it! The following is another one of my new favorite songs. I added it to my playlist, but wanted to share the lyrics with you as well. The lyrics are so true of my life, which make them powerful words to/from my heart. Anyways, I hope this song will encourage you as it has encouraged me these last few months.

Whatever You're Doing (Something Heavenly) by Sanctus Real

It's time for healing time to move on

It's time to fix what's been broken too long

Time make right what has been wrong

It's time to find my way to where I belong

There's a wave that's crashing over me

All I can do is surrender

[Chorus]

Whatever you're doing inside of me

It feels like chaos somehow there's peace

It's hard to surrender to what I can't see

but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone

Time to begin again

Revaluate who I really am

Am I doing everything to follow your will or just climbing aimlessly over these hills

So show me what it is you want from me

I give everything I surrender...To...

[Chorus]

Time to face up

Clean this old house

Time to breathe in and let everything out

That I've wanted to say for so many years

Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me

It feels like chaos but I believe

You're up to something bigger than me

Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me

It feels like chaos but now I can see

This something bigger than me

Larger than life something heavenly

Something heavenly

It's time to face up

Clean this old house

Time breathe in and let everything out

A Fun Filled Weekend

This past weekend we got to watch our niece and nephew, from Thursday until Sunday afternoon! We kept busy and had a lot of fun! They are such cuties, Grace is so much like me it makes me laugh, and Samuel, well, he's just trouble!

Their favorite thing to do at our house was play on the air mattress we blew up for them to sleep on. It provided good entertainment for them and some laughs for us! I am sad we didn't get any pictures of it!

Friday we went to the St. Louis Zoo....

Saturday we went to the pumpkin patch...

This picture is perfect, because its so true! Grace is too good at being the big sister!

Sunday we went to church and then had to take them home. I'd say we had a great weekend! Now the weekend is over and its back to work, which I am not looking foward to!

Not Much is New...

I don't really have much to write about, but its been a while, so I figured a post was in order. Friday night we drove to Columbia to hang out with Becca and friends. We went out to eat at a yummy restaurant and then hung out as the house and played Settlers of Catan. It seems the people who know how and want to play this game in Columbia are limited, so whenever we're in town, we get together to play. For those of you who don't know me well, I am very competitive and I am a horrible loser. Yet I continue to play this game and lose every time, and I don't get upset about it. Needless to say, Matt loves this game because he normally gets the brunt of my bad attitude after losing. Obviously I like it as well, because I keep coming back for more!

After our 3 hour game of Settler's we drove on to my brother and sister's house to spend the night. Saturday morning/early afternoon we celebrated my niece's 4th birthday. Her birthday list make me laugh, as she wanted things to go hunting with her daddy (camo hat, gun, gun bag, camo clothes...) yet she is such a priss! She also requested to get lots of presents, so I ended up buying her 5 smaller things and wrapping them all individually in cute princess paper.

The birthday party was fun of course, and it was great to see family and friends, but it was also really hard on Matt and I. Its just one more thing we won't get to do with our babies, so it was a bittersweet day for us.

After the birthday party we met Becca (friend-sis was already with us) at a pumpkin festival. It was beautiful weather and turned out to be a great afternoon activity! Becca joined us for dinner and hung out with us for the rest of the evening. It was great to spend two days in a row with Becca!

Sunday was church, and turned out to be a not so good day for both Matt and I. After losing the babies we received a ton of support and encouragement. But now, two months later, the month we should be welcoming our babies, we are grieving alone. It bothers me that immediately after a tragedy people are so supportive, but the support gradually ceases, and when you need it most, you're alone. In our experience of losing our babies, the first few weeks were "easy" because we were overwhelmed with love and support. As the love and support gradually faded, our grief has become harder, because we are baring it alone. So Sunday was the beginning of a valley, and today I am trying to find the strength to climb out of it.