Advent

I love Christmas. I have always loved the Christmas season. Not only are we able to celebrate and remember the one event that set into motion the restoration of God's people, for me, it is a season filled with warm memories of time spent with family and friends.  

Until I was in middle school my family attended a Lutheran church, where advent was celebrated, but I believe I was too young to really understand and remember advent. It wasn't until we moved to Vienna that I really experienced Advent for the first time. Austria is a Catholic nation, so Advent is a huge part of their Christmas season. 

As a side note, the 2 Christmas' we lived in Vienna are two of my favorite memories. Christmas in Vienna was wondrous, magical, exciting, and filled with our family of friends and students.  If you don't believe me, just google Vienna at Christmas! The regal lights in the streets downtown, the Christmas markets and the environments they created...topped off with the amazing family of friends, students and their families. Very sweet memories indeed.

So every year I look forward to Advent. This year I am doing an Advent devotional study through an app on my phone. I have really enjoyed it so far. I love the Old Testament, especially all of the prophecy, and a lot of the Advent readings are filled with the prophecies of Christ. This is one of my favorites from Isaiah, and just happened to be part of my reading today.

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned. You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy; they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest, as warriors rejoice when dividing the plunder. For as in the day of Midian’s defeat, you have shattered the yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor. Every warrior’s boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood will be destined for burning, will be fuel for the fire. For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.

And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this."

                                                                                        Isaiah 9:2-7

I love this whole passage and the image it creates of the coming Christ, but I particularly love the the last sentence of verse 7. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this. Webster defines zeal as: eagerness and ardent pursuit of something. Free dictionary defines zeal as enthusiastic devotion to a cause, ideal, or goal and tireless diligence in its furtherance. 

I think of everything God had already accomplished for His people up to this point, and I think of everything God accomplished after this prophecy in order to bring about the fulfillment of these words in Isaiah 9. The stories that my three year old loves, David and Goliath, Jonah and the Big Fish, Daniel and the Lion's Den. They are so much more than words or stories, they are God's ardent pursuit of ME, of Us, they are His tireless diligence to bring us Salvation through the birth, life, death and resurrection of HIs son. 

I think of the zeal of the Lord, I think of his enthusiastic devotion to loving my sinful heart, and I am humbled. 

The last few months have been difficult for me. I have been struggling with the feeling of not doing enough, coupled with finding my place in serving in His kingdom. I know God's greatest calling on my life right now is to be a mom to the three boys he has entrusted to us, but I felt like I was to be doing more than that. I mean, God sent His only Son to earth, to live a perfect life, to be the perfect sacrifice, so that I could have eternal life. 

And what have I been doing? Feeding a baby, changing diapers, Cleaning house, doing laundry, packing lunches, helping with homework, disciplining my children, just the day to day life of a stay at home mom. Important? Of course, but I didn't feel like I was doing enough for His kingdom.I feel like God placed this struggle on my heart, as He had more for me to do, that I was not seeking out. I believe he placed this feeling of dis-contentedness on my heart so I would begin to seek out His will more fervently.

The past 3 weeks have been pretty amazing for Matt and I as God has revealed His calling to my heart. I am so excited to share with you how God has been moving in our lives, making His will crystal clear. Soon, I will share.

When I read this passage today as part of my devotion, it just confirmed in my heart all that God is calling Matt and I too. When I read the last sentence, the ZEAL of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this, it calmed the fears in my heart, for I know this is also true for the calling God is laying on our hearts right now.

One Week

I can't believe it has already been a week since we welcomed Carden into our family. Time truly goes by entirely too fast!

We were able to come home from the hospital Monday evening. We were discharged later because we were waiting on some of Carden's test results. It was so nice to come home and have my family all together. Rance and Cavin are such proud and excited big brothers! It is so sweet to hear them talk about Carden and to watch them interact with him!

I am feeling great, thanks to an easy delivery. Will have to share that story someday soon. Its nice to be able to be up and around and to help out with the boys instead of being down and out on the couch in pain. Wednesday we even ventured to the chiropractor, dinner at Chik-fil-A and then to Community Worship at church. The kids choir, which Rance is part of, sang a song during the worship, and he did great!

Carden is a great baby. He eats, sleeps, and is awake some, but not near enough for either of his big brother's liking! We are still working on getting an eating pattern established. With him being a preemie and the pediatrician worried about weight gain, I have been letting him eat on demand. Not so bad during the day, but it makes for long nights. Thankfully he is starting to sleep better in the night instead of staying awake from 12-2!

Rance and Cavin have been begging to go to my parent's house. Cavin loves the farm, all of the animals, but especially the chicken's and cows. Rance likes the farm, but he isn't so fond of the animals. Although I am pretty sure he has figured out the rules are softer with Grandma and Papa and he definitely enjoys that. My brother and his three older kiddos were going up this weekend, so we let our boys go home with my parents as well. The weather couldn't be better, so I am sure they will spend a lot of time outside playing and will come home with cherished memories of time spent with grandparents and cousins.

Matt and I have enjoyed the downtime, the ability to nap whenever Carden is sleeping to help get rested up, and lots of peanut butter! Our house is definitely much quieter without our two older boys!

Legacy

Just 2 days after we returned from Ukraine with Rance, we attended the funeral of my Great Uncle Walter. We debated on whether or not we should go, if it would be too much for Rance to handle, but in the end, the fact that it was my Great Uncle won out, and we went. We tried to explain to Rance in our limited Ukrainian and English what he would see and what it was, not sure how much he understood with the small amount of English he knew at the time.

For many people, a Great Uncle is a man they see every now and then at family reunions, or for some, they may not even know their names. This was not the case for the Tuley family. My Grandpa and his brothers were firm believers in the importance of family and putting family first. As a result, I not only knew all of my great uncles by name, but I saw them often, was greeted with hugs and kisses, and was hugged and kissed good bye. I was close with my Great Uncle Walter, and I knew I couldn't miss his funeral.

During the funeral, some of his grandkids got up to speak. I smiled and laughed at their stories, with tears in my eyes, because many of the memories of their grandpa were identical to the memories I have of mine. It struck me while sitting at the funeral how much my Grandpa and his brothers were alike. How much they loved God, loved their families, loved other people, were hard workers, and their love of teasing, especially the girls. I realized all of these characteristics of the Tuley brothers were a result of lives lived intentionally. Lives intentionally lived so they could leave a legacy to their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. There truly are no words to describe the gift they gave to us in the legacy they left behind. Their legacy has shaped so much of who I am, my faith, my love for family and the importance of putting family first, my value of hard work, my love for helping others, and so much more.

When we found out we were having another baby boy, we thought we had a name already picked out. But the more I pondered it in my heart, the more I knew it wasn't the right name for this child. I wanted to choose a name that would represent the legacy left behind by the Tuley brothers. There is only one Tuley brother still alive, my Great Uncle Franklin Carden Tuley. The more I thought about the legacy the Tuley brothers have passed on to me, the more I knew Carden was the name I wanted to pass on. It is my way of telling them thank you, thank you for being great men who left, or will leave, behind a legacy that has forever touched my life.

We already had the middle name picked out, William, after Matt's Grandpa, Donald William Clapham. I have seen so many times in Matt's life the legacy his Grandpa passed on to him. Many of the things I love most about Matt I also saw in his Grandpa. Like me, the legacy Matt's Grandpa passed on to him, shaped so much of who Matt is today.

We are both so blessed to have men in our lives who worked hard to pass on a legacy of faith, family, friends and hard work. Legacies that have changed and shaped lives. Legacies that we hope to pass on to all of our boys.

So we welcome Carden William Richards into our family. Born on March 3, 2012 at 8:24 in the morning, weighing in at 6 pounds 11 ounces and 19 and 1/2 inches long! So far he is doing perfect for being a week premature!

One Year! Written on 2/9/2012

I really cannot believe that a year ago today we were on the final leg of our adoption journey, our flights home. We had been gone since December 3, 68 days, what felt like forever. We were so excited to introduce Rance to his new home and family, and he was full of excitement as well.

It truly is hard to believe its been a year since we arrived home with Rance. His transition into English, a new home, new family, everything, has been amazingly smooth. Time has went by so quickly!

The changes in Rance, from the day we first met him, to the little boy he is today, are outstanding. I am truly in awe of how love has transformed a little boy.

32 Weeks!

Part of me can't believe I am already at 32 weeks while the other part of me can't believe we're not at 38 weeks yet! I am definitely getting anxious to meet Baby C!

This pregnancy continues to go rather smoothly. I am still on modified bed rest, which is okay with me. I typically have 2 or 3 really busy days and spend the other days laying around a lot, which I typically don't mind as I am tired anyways! At my appointment this past week, Baby C weighed an estimated 4 pounds 8 ounces, so he's still measuring big! Well, really, just his head and femur are measuring in the 90th percentile, the rest of him is in the 60th. This just means he will be long and lean, as Cavin was. I will stop my medications at 34 weeks, the cerclage will come out at 36 weeks, and then we'll just see what my body does! We could have a baby the day they take out my cerclage, or knowing my luck, a couple weeks later!
 

Rance. One year ago today we were picking up his Ukrainian passport. This meant we could get his US Visa, our last step before being able to finally come home! On January 31, Rance's Gotcha Day, we had a party at a local Italian restaurant with some family and close friends. I was beyond disappointed that I didn't get to go due to being super sick with the flu. He had a blast though, and it was fun to remember where we were a year ago compared to today. Its hard to believe its already been a year while at the same time it seems like we have had Rance for so much longer.

Rance continues to do well in school, although his silly personality sometime gets him in typical boy trouble at school. He continues to really like school and has began to develop some close friends at school. He has been to several birthday parties of friends and has had fun seeing how birthday's are celebrated! He has all kinds of plans for his birthday in April!

Cavin is ornery as ever. I absolutely love watching his personality emerge. He is all boy and still into any and all balls. He likes going to "school" with me on the 2 days a week I help. He is learning a lot. Lately he has learned his shapes and can recognize at least the letter's o, i, c, x, and n. He has also began to trace rather well for a 2 year old, he does better than some of the 4 year olds in our class! He has also really began to enjoy singing and asks to sing quite a bit. He is learning all of the words to several different songs. His favorites seem to be: Take me Out to the Ballgame, Jesus Loves Me, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Are You Sleeping.

I realize this update is rather scattered, but that seems to be the state of my pregnant brain! At least its an update!

29 Weeks and Bedrest!

It has been a while since I last posted, but we have been beyond busy with the holiday's and supposedly moving. We enjoyed a lot of time with family and friends over the Christmas season and the boys loved opening their presents. We found out we weren't moving, the contract we had to sell our house fell through, which was extremely disappointing for us. We love our home now, its just too small for our growing family.

So we've been trying to creatively decide where Baby C will go. Not so much him, but his clothes and all of the things needed to care for a baby! We still haven't completely decided on a solution, but we've come up with a few different ideas.

I am now on modified bed rest. Talk about another disappointing day. I went for a check up the Friday before Christmas and got a great report. I have been consistently measuring around 5cm the whole time, and Dr. T was sure I wouldn't have that appointment where I got disappointing news.

Well, New Year weekend I began to notice some things and began having some concerns. I finally called in Sunday morning, January 1 and was disappointed Dr. T wasn't taking his own calls. It is extremely rare for him to not take his own calls. But I spoke with another doctor in the practice who was great, although he sent me in to the hospital to get some tests ran. So I left all my boys at church and went in.

The house doctor that was there was horrible. Did not like her at all. I don't think she heard a word I said and she did way more than the tests needed. I am still livid with her! But what we thought the problem was, checked out okay and I was sent back home to rest. I actually spent the afternoon and evening resting at my grandparents for our last family Christmas.

Well, when Dr. T got a phone call from my hospital nurse Sunday afternoon, he was NOT happy with how things went down. He checked on me Monday and Tuesday, and finally on Wednesday he said he just wanted me to come in and get checked out so he would feel better, as his concerns were not the same as the doctor I spoke with on Sunday.

So I went in on Thursday late morning by myself, and got the dreaded news. My cervix was giving out, and was in fact, already in the danger zone. It was Dr. T's surgery day, but my ultrasound tech, whom I love, tracked him down in a surgery, had a nurse hold the phone up to is ear and explained the situation. I pretty well knew what he would say, and when she came back her news confirmed my fears, I was on bed rest.

I laid the rest of Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and finally went back to be checked again on Tuesday. I was dreading getting bad news again, but was so thankful to receive good news! My cervix had improved almost a centimeter! So after a long conversation with Dr. T, we decided to try a modified bed rest. Basically, I am on bed rest as much as I can be, but am allowed up for things I consider necessary.

I will go back tomorrow to get checked again, and am praying for things to continue to improve, or at least hold steady. I do not want to do strict bed rest with this pregnancy!

Regardless of what happens, I am thankful to be in a much better place with this pregnancy, to have a doctor I totally and completely trust and love, and to have a sweet active baby boy who will have a great chance at survival if born from here on out. I would just prefer for me to hold him when he is born, not a NICU so I continue to pray that we make it full term!

I So Love My Three Boys!!

 

Cavin, Baby C and Rance

21 Weeks and 5 Days!

November!!

I can't believe it is November already, but I am really excited that it is! I am most definitely looking forward to the holiday's this year, as we missed out on everything last year being in Ukraine. I am excited to spend time with family and friends, I am excited to bake and for all of the yummy food, and I am so excited for Rance to experience the holiday's for the very first time!

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday. My cervix looked fabulous! I was 18 weeks and 3 days, and with Cavin, at this point, my cervix was already doing its thing and I was put on bed rest by 20 weeks. So we are so thankful to see my cervix still behaving! Baby C looked great, although was sleeping! We did get the sex confirmed, 110% with a second ultrasound after seeing the doc. Will be sharing the big news soon.

I will be 19 weeks on Friday, only 5 weeks until our first big goal which is 24 weeks!! That is when Baby C will be viable, to have a chance at surviving outside of the womb! With as well as my cervix is doing, we aren't really worried about reaching this mark, but I will still feel much better when we do!

I should post pictures of Halloween, the boys had so much fun. They both went as Spiderman, as that is the only costume we have for Rance that fits, and well, Cavin of course had to be just like Rance! We went to our church's trunk or treat on Sunday, and then trick or treating with friends Monday night. It was so fun to watch all of Rance's excitement, and surprisingly fun to see how much Cavin got into it!

Baby C, 18 Weeks, 3 Days

A Day at Home

Life has been extremely busy lately, and I feel like I can't catch up! Today I get to be home all day! Rance has school and Matt work, but they will be home all evening, thanks to the weather being to cold for Rance's soccer practice.

I am planning on putting a big pot of chili on the stove to simmer and baking some pumpkin bread and pumpkin seeds! I also have a lot of things I need to get done around the house that have been put off far to long. I have a small list of things I want to accomplish today, so we'll see how it goes. It will be hard to get out of bed when I am still feeling so tired and Cavin has been so snugly lately!

Baby C Update

Tomorrow I will be 17 weeks! I am going to the doctor every other week for right now, because my cervix has been looking great! This week it shortened a bit, but nothing to be concerned about. This appointment and the one two weeks before, our sonographer has tried to tell us the sex of Baby C, but so far we still have question marks at the end, although she is pretty sure. I am hoping our next ultrasound will provide confirmation complete with exclamation points!! I have been put on a very light rest regimen due to some cramping last week that still comes and goes, but has been much better. I am still allowed to do life, just to take it easy when I can, especially if I am having any cramping. Baby C is growing like a weed, crazy how quickly they grow and change!

Rance is currently in his first full week of school! We were definitely blessed with a local private school that is just a few miles from our church, in which Rance attends. With him being in school we have definitely been reminded of how short of a time we have had him! He has adjusted so well it is easy for us to forget we have only had him just over 8 months. Although it was a really hard decision to make to put him in school, we knew that is what he needed most. So far he has loved it! We have been busy trying to learn all of the ins and outs of the school and how they do things. Its kind of weird to be parents of a second grader already!

Cavin also goes to school, and will bug us about it from the time we drop Rance off until the time we get to his school! He will constantly ask about his school and seeing his teacher! I help a teacher at the preschool at our church 2 days a week, so Cavin hangs out with our class as well. Although he is only 2, he will sit and color as long, if not longer, than our 4 year olds! Between learning at school and me working with him at home, he has learned his colors (big thanks to Fruit Loops and his obsession with them!), he can count and is beginning to recognize his numbers and letters. He also knows all of his shapes. He is growing up so fast and changes everyday!

Well, if I am going to get my small list accomplished along with resting, I had better get started! 

Good News!!

So a couple of things...

First, we have decided to call this baby, Baby C! Although we find out the sex, we keep the name a secret until the baby is born. However, I don't like calling the baby "it" or just he or she all of the time. So we try to come up with a fun name for the baby during pregnancy. Cavin was Baby Red after his Aunt Redner. Baby C is named such because this is my third pregnancy (third letter of the alphabet), and whether it is a boy or a girl, there will be a "C" somewhere in its name!

So, today was my first appointment since the surgery. My cervix checked out great, measuring at 4.4! Baby C was super active, we even got to see him/her moving its mouth! Baby C is growing perfectly, he/she actually measured 2 days ahead!

Everything looked so great, Dr. T said instead of coming in every week like he was thinking, I was able to make BI-WEEKLY appointments for the rest of the year! Definitely exciting!

We also found out what we were having today, but since it is still so early in the pregnancy, we're going to wait until after my next ultrasound in two weeks to share the big news!

We are so thankful this pregnancy is off to such a great start, and we continue to pray that God will keep Baby C safe in my tummy until I am full term!