I don't really have much to write about, but its been a while, so I figured a post was in order. Friday night we drove to Columbia to hang out with Becca and friends. We went out to eat at a yummy restaurant and then hung out as the house and played Settlers of Catan. It seems the people who know how and want to play this game in Columbia are limited, so whenever we're in town, we get together to play. For those of you who don't know me well, I am very competitive and I am a horrible loser. Yet I continue to play this game and lose every time, and I don't get upset about it. Needless to say, Matt loves this game because he normally gets the brunt of my bad attitude after losing. Obviously I like it as well, because I keep coming back for more!
After our 3 hour game of Settler's we drove on to my brother and sister's house to spend the night. Saturday morning/early afternoon we celebrated my niece's 4th birthday. Her birthday list make me laugh, as she wanted things to go hunting with her daddy (camo hat, gun, gun bag, camo clothes...) yet she is such a priss! She also requested to get lots of presents, so I ended up buying her 5 smaller things and wrapping them all individually in cute princess paper.
The birthday party was fun of course, and it was great to see family and friends, but it was also really hard on Matt and I. Its just one more thing we won't get to do with our babies, so it was a bittersweet day for us.
After the birthday party we met Becca (friend-sis was already with us) at a pumpkin festival. It was beautiful weather and turned out to be a great afternoon activity! Becca joined us for dinner and hung out with us for the rest of the evening. It was great to spend two days in a row with Becca!
Sunday was church, and turned out to be a not so good day for both Matt and I. After losing the babies we received a ton of support and encouragement. But now, two months later, the month we should be welcoming our babies, we are grieving alone. It bothers me that immediately after a tragedy people are so supportive, but the support gradually ceases, and when you need it most, you're alone. In our experience of losing our babies, the first few weeks were "easy" because we were overwhelmed with love and support. As the love and support gradually faded, our grief has become harder, because we are baring it alone. So Sunday was the beginning of a valley, and today I am trying to find the strength to climb out of it.
Steph - You and Matt are often in our thoughts. I ran into Judy the other day and she asked if I kept in touch. I told her that I read your blog and updated her on what I knew. Just earlier today I thought about how you should be welcoming your babies later this month and how difficult it must be for you right now. You're not alone and I pray that God will give you the strength to pass through the valley.
ReplyDeletewe are still praying for you guys. i've been thinking about you a lot and even though we haven't had a chance to talk on the phone--you are still on my mind. please know we are grieving with you as well--we're just not so close. we love you guys!
ReplyDeleteSteph, we check your blog daily to see how you all are doing. You will always have this families love and support. I know some days are harder than others and I know this month will be a hard one for the both of you. I think that so many family and friends are kind of waiting for you to dictate the terms of talking about your little angles. I know I don't want to bring it up because I don't want to hurt you or sadden you. We are all sad that they are not here with us. You are never alone. We are never more than a phone call or a car ride away. We are here if you need us.
ReplyDeleteLove & Prayers
Cory & Jaime
I am continuing to pray for you guys. We love you and our hearts are heavy with the loss you have suffered.
ReplyDelete