Another Week at Home!!

I had my weekly appointment today with Dr. T. He said he had been dreading seeing me today because he was afraid he would have to readmit me to the hospital, and he didn't want to be the bearer of bad news.

Much to everyone's surprise, we got good news! My cervix measured in at 1.8 which is a bit over a centimeter longer that it was last week!! They joked that I had brought a friends cervix in for the appointment!

Obviously the good news is answered prayer and also means the experimental treatment Dr. T is trying on me is working! It has helped to take the pressure of my uterus off of my cervix which has allowed it to strengthen.

So we are continuing the treatment as we have been the past few weeks--the experimental treatment, the weekly shots to strengthen and lengthen my cervix, the daily meds to prevent preterm labor, and the strict bed rest. Put all that together with prayer, and hopefully my body will be able to hold out for another 3 weeks!

Baby Red is doing great. Still no new pictures. Last week he had his back to us and this week he had an arm and a hand his face. Hopefully one week he'll cooperate and we'll get some new pictures!

On a side note, Baby Red is still breech as he has been the entire pregnancy. Please pray this little guy will turn sometime before he's ready to make his grand entrance. I really don't want a c-section!

30 Weeks!!!

Today we are celebrating having reached another two week goal, 30 weeks! We are now looking at a 95% survival rate outside of the womb and I can deliver at St. Luke's from here on out! If Baby Red is born in the next few weeks we are looking at 6-10 weeks of NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) time. Although he would be okay, we wouldn't be able to hold him, feed, him, change his diapers for several weeks, we'd barely be able to touch him, which would be really hard. So we're just praying my body will hold out for at least another two weeks!

Today also marks 8 weeks of bed rest. It has been a long two months! The past two weeks I have been on extremely strict bed rest, allowed up only to potty and for a brief shower each day. Otherwise, I am laying flat. I think the past two weeks have felt just as long as the first 6 weeks when I was allowed a few more freedoms! We are hoping to make it to 36 weeks which would mean 6 more weeks of strict bed rest for me. Not sure how I will survive it with my sanity intact, but I know God will help drag me through. I will do anything for this sweet baby boy!

Psalm 139

During my personal church service last Sunday Psalm 139 was among the passages I read. It really stood out to me so I have spent this week breaking it down and studying it in more depth.

One of the reasons I love this psalm is because it screams of the intimacy we have in our relationship with Christ. Our relationship with him is even more intimate than the relationships we have with our spouse. No one but God knows us this personally, this deeply.

There have been a few times when I have really questioned God's presence in my life. My life was surrounded in darkness, I felt hopeless and alone. I was sure God could not be a part of this. Yet as this psalm clearly states, there is no where we can go to escape God's Spirit. I love how it describes this: there is no where I can go, no place I can flee, to escape God's presence. Even when I am surrounded by darkness, it is light to him. He is ALWAYS with me.

He has been with me since I was first conceived in my mother's womb. He was with me as each intricate part of me was made and woven together. Before I took my first breath he knew every tiny detail of each day I would live.

God is ALWAYS with me, and he loves me intimately.

I also love this psalm as I think about the baby in my womb. Already my baby is in an intimate relationship with God, he is in God's presence, and his days are already known by God. What a comfort to me as his mother!

Psalm 139

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD. You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain. Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you. If only you would slay the wicked, O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men! They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name. Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD, and abhor those who rise up against you? I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Happy Birthday to Me!

Although it feels like just another day, today is my birthday. Confined to bed, its been another long day of laying! Matt stayed home with me today and for the most part, has even stayed in bed with me! We've watched movies, tv, taken naps, eaten, and planned more for Baby Red's nursery. I think its been good for Matt to understand how long my days are--and great for me to have some company!!

Welcome Home!!!!

So I am laying at home in my own bed, and it feels so good! I've sent Matt off to the grocery store as we were out of everything. I am curious to see what all he buys. I made a list of stuff I knew I wanted, but since he'll be on cooking duty, I am allowing him to pick out some easy things to fix. We shall see. However-I think anything he picks out has to be better than the hospital food!!

Today was a very long day as I anxiously awaited my tests. I was nervous if things had progressed and gotten worse, yet I was hopeful things had stayed the same and I would be sent home. Finally 1:30 rolled around and I was wheeled across the way to my doctor's office.

Dr. Thompson was busy delivering a baby so another doctor and the nurse practitioner were on hand to go through the tests.

My cervix measured in at .86 cm today, which is basically the same as it was last week!!!! This is still not a good place to be, as that leaves little to nothing holding the baby in. My cervix is extremely soft, but is still closed. This means the medication, bed rest and the experimental treatment are doing their jobs and helping me maintain. We tried to take a peak at Baby Red, but he had his back to us and wanted nothing to do with getting his picture taken! He even kicked at the ultrasound paddle on my tummy!

Dr. Thompson dropped by my room a bit later to discuss the results of my tests. He is very optimistic. To him, my cervix staying the same is actually improvement, as my cervix was able to stay the same in spite of another week of growth and change. He believes this is a result of all of the interventions they have put in place. The other main reason he felt comfortable sending me home was because my fetal fibronectin test came back negative. So he said as long as I can maintain the same level of activity at home as in the hospital, home it is!

I am laying flat all the time, no sitting up, and am allowed up only to potty and take a very brief shower each day.

I will be allowed to stay home unless my cervix worsens or preterm labor begins. I will continue to see Dr. Thompson every Monday where he will run tests to check my cervix.

It is hard not to be anxious and not to worry about how this will all turn out--if Baby Red will be okay, how much NICU time we'll have to deal with, if I will be put in the hospital again, and the list goes on. So we continue to trust in God's perfect plan and turn this pregnancy over to God, knowing he is the giver of life and Baby Red is safest in his arms. We know the Lord gives and we know he takes away. Yet regardless of the outcome, with God as our rock, we will continue to worship him and serve him with our lives.

Please continue to pray for my cervix to hold tight for another three weeks. We'd love to get to beyond the 32 week mark, but we'll be thrilled to get that far. Pray also for Baby Red, that he will continue to mature and grown strong and healthy. And--please pray for Matt. He has a lot on his plate. Not only is he still working full time, he is now in charge of all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, and taking care of me.

Its Friday!!!

Everything has settled down other than a bit of irritability so things are nice and calm. I will still be in the hospital until Monday so they can continue to monitor me to make sure the precautions they have taken are working before they send me home. On Monday they will remeasure my cervix and if hasn't gotten any worse or it has miraculously improved, I will be going home!! I will still be on strict bed rest, but at least I'll be in my own bed and will have better food than hospital food!

Baby Red has been doing great through all of this. He is still very active and moving and kicking all over the place! They have been keeping a close eye on him as well.

Matt is ready for this week to be over with. He has had VBS this week so its been quite a stressful week for him trying to balance that with me in the hospital. Thankfully all of the volunteers have stepped up and been a huge help! They had a great turn out at VBS, somewhere over 150 kiddos each night, so they've been busy! Tonight is the last night!

Unless something changes, I probably won't update again until Monday evening when I will hopefully be updating from home!!

Thanks to you all for your prayers and support through this little scare. Tomorrow we will be celebrating reaching 29 weeks!! Hopefully at least 3 more to go!

The Latest News

Today has been a really long day with lots of anxious waiting!! But we're finally coming to a close so here is the latest news....

We finished the round of steroid shots for Baby Red to help mature his lungs and prevent a few other problems related to preterm birth.

The doctor used an experimental treatment that will hopefully help my cervix to hold out longer.

Dr. Thompson also ran a fetal fibronectin test which can predict whether or not I will go into labor in the next week to two weeks. The test came back NEGATIVE which means I will not be going into labor within the next week or two. However if my cervix gets any worse it could cause labor to begin.

After the long day and all I've "been through" I think Dr. Thompson felt sorry for me so I am allowed to get up and take a very quick shower in the morning--although no singing in the shower is allowed--but I am so excited for it!!

On a sidenote, they will be measuring my cervix again on Monday, and if it doesn't get any worse, there is a good chance I will be able to go back home and continue my strict bed rest there. We are still in a risky place, yet a very positive place. As Doctor Thompson put it, I could give you a "good" baby now, but I would rather give you an even "better" baby in a few weeks! He is very hopeful I will make it to 32 weeks which is 3 more weeks!

From the beginning of this pregnancy my four year old niece has been praying on her own initiative for God to let us keep this baby here on the land so we can love him and take care of him. It has been the prayer of our hearts as well. One of the biggest lessons I tried to teach my students in Bible class in Vienna is that prayer is powerful, God always listens, and he always answers--sometimes his answer may be yes, other times it may be no, and other times it may be silence and asking you to wait.

Thank you for all of your prayers and support. God has heard and he is graciously answering. So we will pray continually- knowing that the prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective--and that God always answers.

Here we go again...

WARNING: THIS POST WILL CONTAIN DETAILS ABOUT WOMANLY STUFF SO IF YOU ARE A SQUEAMISH MALE, YOU MAY NOT WANT TO READ ON!!!!

Altough this is very personal, I know I have a lot of dear friends wondering exactly what is going on and praying, so I am taking a risk and spilling it all while my mom and aunt are grabbing some dinner!

I had a feeling I would find myself in the hospital today. Enough so that I packed up my lap top and phone charger to bring with me, but hopeful enough that I didn't pack a bag!

I have an incompetent cervix which means my cervix is unable to support the pressure and weight of our growing baby. Instead of staying strong as it should, it in essence buckles under the pressure and shortens and weakens.

I have had good reports and not so good ones in regards to my cervix since 21 weeks. Last week my cervix had shortened to a 2.5 and had begun to funnel, or open up. As this had happened before at week 24 we were hopeful it would just be another "bad week."

However, at my appointment today, I measured in at .88 and all that is basically holding the baby in is a pocket of fluid that somehow got through my cervix to the outer side. So I find myself in the hospital again, only this time, its a much better situation!!

Baby Red is currently at 28 weeks and 3 days. After measuring him this morning his estimated weight is 3.2 pounds which is about a pound more than the average at this point in a pregnancy. Another blessing, a bigger baby means better chances outside of the womb. At 28 weeks the survival rate is around 75% which is good, but also still risky. I am not having any contractions, which is also great! They have also begun steroid treatments (a shot with a big needle!) that will help mature Baby Red's lungs as well as help in a few other problem areas to prepare him for an early birth.

Baby Red could be born any time, but we're hoping to hold out for at least another few weeks. Ideally, we'd love to make it to 34 weeks which is the middle of July. Right now I am stable but there are still many unknowns. Tomorrow will be a big day for us as they are running some tests as well as experimenting--hopefully this experiment will take some of the pressure off of my cervix and allow it to hold out longer. As they will be doing a lot of internal things tomorrow, it is a worry that it will start preterm labor or irritate my cervix. For this reason, we are asking for no visitors until things are a little more settled down. We'll definitely let you know!

We're in the midst of a waiting game with a lot of unknowns, yet we do know God is in control and we trust in his perfect plan. With his strength we will survive this crazy time, and Baby Red will have a glorious testimony from birth illustrating God's love and power. Thanks for praying with us. I will update here as we figure more things out.

Intoducing Baby Red to Blog World

These are pictures of Baby Red at 27 weeks and 4 days. The first one is a profile picture of his cute button nose, and the next two are 4-d pictures. We think he's pretty cute!

Much to our dismay, my suspicions were confirmed December 24, 2008. We couldn't believe it. It truly is a miracle that we were able to conceive naturally and what a tremendous blessing! It didn't really set in for a while that we were actually pregnant again! But it sure was fun to wrap up as a gift and give to my mom to open on Christmas morning!

We decided to find out what we were having, and at 13 weeks we found out our baby is a boy! then we decided we needed a nickname to call him until he is born since we are keeping his name a secret. So we decided to call him Baby Red after a good friend of ours from Vienna. She was bummed its a boy so we couldn't name him with her first name so we decided on Red-- which is the first part of her last name.

I am again considered high risk this time due to what happened last time with the triplets. For the first 2o weeks I went to the doctor every two weeks, and everything went smoothly. Then I switched doctors (stressful but a blessing). From 21 weeks on I have went to the doctor every week due to complications with the pregnancy. From 22 weeks on I have been on strict bed rest with the exception of last week when I was allowed to sit for four hours a day.

It has been a very emotional roller coaster ride. It still is. It will continue to be until our sweet baby boy is healthy and home and safe in our arms.

It has also been a time of growth, learning, and trusting.

Saturday will be 28 weeks, our big goal. At this point Baby Red has a 75% chance of survival outside of the womb. We will be celebrating big time for getting this far!!

We covet your prayers as I continue to battle it out on strict bed rest, and for my body to hold out long enough for Baby Red to be safely welcomed into this world.

Ovations

This past weekend was a busy one for us! We are trying to get our basement finished so we can create our nursery. Our extra bedroom upstairs has a spare bed in it and other odd and end stuff, and we don't really have a place to put it until the basement is finished. Once our basement is finished we'll have a storage room, extra bedroom, another full bath, an office/library area, and another big open family room. It will be really nice and will add another 900 square foot of space!!

Sunday night Matt and Joe (the youth minister) were hosting "Ovations," a volunteer appreciation dinner/banquet at the church Sunday night. Matt alone has well over a 100 volunteers underneath of him, so they'd asked my mom to cater it. She and my sister came down Saturday to start cooking for it. My mom loves catering/cooking for people, as do I, so it was hard for me to lay on the couch and watch and not be able to help. I don't know how many times I was told to "go lay back down." But it was nice to sample all of the food!

For the main course she fixed smoked chicken, green beans, baked potatoes with a bar of toppings, three different salads, fresh fruit, and her famous light rolls. It was all yummy! She really had fun on the desserts, as her real passion is baking. We made a triple layered chocolate mousse cake, a four layered coconut cream dessert and a four layered chocolate cream dessert (both with homemade puddings!), our families cheesecake recipe that is like no other, and cherry squares (like pie) made with fresh cherries!

Mom made the desserts after we got home from early service on Sunday so my lunch turned into sampling them all!

Everyone loved the dinner, they don't get food where everything is made from scratch very often. Plus, I think the volunteers really felt appreciated for what they do each Sunday. Matt and Joe also shared their vision for the future of their ministries and I think it was really inspiring and encouraging to everyone.

Its always nice to be appreciated and to receive an ovation!