Broken Hearts

The consult did not want to take responsibility for the decision, thinking the judge would rule in our favor. However, the last time the judge made a similar decision he got into trouble, so he also said no.

There really are no other options for us. We technically could appeal to their supreme court, but that takes a long time and a lot of money, and there are still no guarantees.

We are heartbroken, for ourselves yes, but our hearts are so broken for this little boy. We are just praying that God will comfort him and help him to understand why we were not able to take him.

During our seven hour drive back to Kiev this afternoon I went back and forth between a mixture of emotions. Throughout this process we have been praying for what is best for this little boy, and then selfishly begging God to let us have him.

Although we do not understand exactly why God is not allowing us to have this little boy, we can only pray he has something better planned for him down the road, hopefully soon!

In the meantime we will continue to look at the oranges we bought for him, but never got to give him and the pictures we took, and grieve for this sweet little boy we wanted so badly to be ours. As we cry over our loss, we will pray for God to wrap his arms around this boy, and to let him know he will always be loved by us, but more importantly he is loved by Jesus.

What's next? More waiting. We will have to start over again. Monday we will go get paperwork filled out to once again, petition the SDA for an appointment to look for another child. Then we will wait for them to accept our paperwork and invite us for a second appointment. Then we will start round two.

Please pray for Matt and I. Honestly, right now our broken hearts just want to go home. It is hard to think about trying to pick another child when all we want is the one we already met. Not to mention, so far all of the other children available have somewhat serious medical conditions we will have to deal with.

When we chose the Ukraine program we were told there were plenty of 2 and 3 year old, mostly healthy boys to adopt. So far, we have seen none. The options we do have are 5 and 6 year olds, with some conditions that may or may not be fixable.

I find myself struggling to trust that God has a child for us, when we found a perfect one and he did not allow us to have him. In my mind, I know God has a perfect plan including a perfect child, but right now my broken heart is just that, broken and grieving.

Thanks to all of you for your constant prayers on our behalf, it has been a tremendous blessing to us. We will keep you posted.